The Bible V.S. Emerson. Subway Style!

Today on my way to one of my favorite coffee shops in NYC,  I was reading Emerson's essay Self Reliance for homework.  Sitting quietly in my seat on the subway with the book in my face I hear a man ask "what are you reading?"  Putting down my book to respond I see a man holding a Bible staring at me with every intent to preach some good old "Jesus loves you."  After I tell him what it is he proves my assumption correctly and follows it up with a second question asking me why I was not reading the Bible instead.  I told him this book was homework but that I was thoroughly enjoying it.  He then tells me  any book that is not the bible is the devils book and proceeds to push the bible over my Emerson.   Smiling slightly to myself at the irony of the situation I had this crazy thought that we might exchange books.  I told him that I'd take his if he took mine.

That's when it hit me.

"I don't want it, 35 dollars for the Bible" He said.  

I got off.   

We could of had something special random subway guy.

Hold On... Where's The Weeknd?

After the Weeknd beat out 2 Chains in the first week of sales by forty thousand I was content with my life.  Abel deserved a good first week after he lost that award for “artist to watch” or whatever it was.  Then Drake’s album track list was available.  Like anyone else I was all ready to see some more strait up OVOXO collaboration.  There was nothing there.

The elephant in the room is “Oh they fell out! Of course they aren't making music together.”  Then how do you explain the Weeknd’s LA show where Drake came out to congratulate him on a #1 spot record!  Enough with the congratulations Drake, it’s time for more collaborations!

Drake how can you have a song called Hold On, We’re Going Home and not utilize the collaboration that happens to be from your home country, not to mention that you make some of your most innovative music with him?  A large number of your fans (particularly me) want to see more OVOXO.  Most of the features in rap these days don’t bring a tremendous amount of sales, but  Abel is an exception to that trend.  Putting him off your album was a big mistake.  Nothing Was The Same is a fantastic, but just one more song man.  You easily lost out on another gold/platinum single. Don't think Live For where you only drop one 16 is going to satisfy us.  

Now realizing Drake will never read this I will move on with my life.

Also This: 

Online Lists Destroy Love

Don't we all love our online lists?  We read these things all of the time. Things like: Top ten reason to love Ryan Gosling; top twenty five reasons to become a doctor; Top fifteen toe fungi to not contract while vacationing in Canada.  These are fun to read right?  My answer is yes...sometimes.  

Truly I love some good old lists every now and then, but I have a problem with particular lists which fall under the category of "paranoid relationship lists."  These lists are designed to instill doubt in relationships that are going very well.  Their titles consist of things like: "10 signs of an affair" or "top ten things to look for when someone is cheating on you."  I hate these.  Not only are many of the reasons complete garbage, but people read these things and then think "damn I gotta look out for THAT now."

  

For example, here is a reason for cheating I just pulled randomly online:

He’s Suddenly Shaving

If your husband’s grooming habits suddenly take a change for the better, then you might have to be concerned that you’re not the one he is trying to impress.

Maybe it is just a little harmless flirting with a cute new girl in the office who makes him feel young again, or maybe it is something worse.

(Doesn't that last line just open up a bunch of nasty thoughts?)

The intent of this particular advice is for someone to go home to their significant other and keep track of their hygiene/personal appearance.  If at any given point it improves you're supposed to thing "Oh no, he/she is being unfaithful, time to let doubt ruin my day."  That's the point though.  You read crap like this and it gives you doubt. 

Everyone who cheats does it in their own way; you can't say irresponsible things like this to inspire unreasonable conclusions. Not only that, it also makes life tougher for those who don't (to those who say "everyone cheats once “if everyone really did it would be accepted as a totally fine thing by society by now). 

 If your significant other decides to make a life improvement that starts with shaving, the first thing you shouldn't think is "damn he's probably doing it for some other girl."  

If you do happen to be in a terrible relationship where you are always worried about cheating that's your fault and you should figure something out.

And that's all I have to say about that.

On the subject of doubt, this particular picture makes me feel uncomfortable about my relationship with my blog.

Caddyshack

This world is a serious place, where serious stuff is done by serious people in a serious manner.  Over time I’ve come to believe if your occupation doesn‘t incorporate some mild manner of laughter, you will most definitely end up like those people the Joker kills in Dark Knight (okay so maybe I don’t believe that but you’ll probably be really bummed most of the time). Anyway, in order to stop some psychopathic clown from teaching us all to smile, I suggest an alternative prescription for the seriousness: Caddyshack.  Yes, this movie will never fail you.  In fact stop what you are doing right now and just watch CaddyShack tonight.  

Though I am no movie buff, if there is one thing I know about film it is that Caddyshack can put a grin on even the most depressed degenerate sack of meat (who works I the DMV of all places). 

I have so much faith in this film I seriously believe doctors should prescribe Caddyshack as well as other comical movies in its class to mentally depressed patients.   I just cannot imagine someone who is on the verge of suicide sitting through that movie and just thinking afterwards that it’s time to end it all. 

That’s pretty much it.  Here’s a link to some memories for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7YGQjMKNQE

 Remember! A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.

"I Don't Smoke Crack Motha F*ucka I Sell It" Thoughts on Kendrick's "Control" Verse

Let me just talk about rap for a second and why anyone who likes it should give a giant thank you to Kendrick Lamar for saying what needed to be said many years ago.  Before Waka Flocka Flame, Trinidad Jame$, and all this non lyrical trash that dares call itself "rap."  In essence, Kendrick says rap is a competition and if you are a rapper you better compete!

That "Crack Music" Kanye West and The Game once spit about is seriously at an all time low.  With all the incredible artists coming out with new albums recently, the effort put into some of the music has been pathetic, especially with the following:

The Wale Album:  Okay... BUT NO

Lil Wayne Album: NO

Rich Gang Album: NO

Nicki Minaj Album: NO

Tyga Album: NO

French Montana Album: NO

Meek Mill Album: NO

Wiz Khalifa Album: NO
Joe Budden Album: NO

Chief Keef Album: NO NO

Trinidad Jame$ Mixtape: NO NO NO

Even the Lupe Album: NO

(Versace....NO)

About half of these rappers at some point had something special about them.  Something that made their sound better in it's own way.  They all got lazy or changed to fit a certain bubble.  The rest of them have no business doing what they are doing and I'm hating so hard on them right now.  The fact is that they have been able to get away with some complete bull in the past couple years that needs to stop.  If it's not lyrical at least make it artistically complex you lazy dirt bags.  Kendrick challenges you all to make better music.  Please, for the love of god do or disappear or just change your genre to party music or something.  Some of you have the potential.

Kendrick Verse Here: http://rapradar.com/2013/08/12/new-music-big-sean-ft-kendrick-lamar-x-jay-electronica-control/

Music Videos and their content these days (said in an old man voice)

Music videos these days are showing a lot.  Sometimes it is done sensually, but usually sexually.  Here are my top five mot sexually explicit music videos from the past couple years.  Control your feminist urges, or whatever other urges you may have because this is some graphic and sometimes misogynist Sh*t! They’re in no particular order, but #1 just wins first prize (3,4 and 5 are  pretty good songs though).  Enjoy.  I think… Maybe this was a bad idea.

1.  “Make It Nasty” by Tyga: http://vimeo.com/61303069

 2.“Naked” by Kevin McCall: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN6k8V1NhkI

3.“Tunnel Vision” by Justin Timberlake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07FYdnEawAQ

4. “Twenty Eight”  The Weeknd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ScGcuXZqc

 5.“Goldie” by A$AP Rocky: http://vimeo.com/41498138

Trayvon Martin Case Thoughts And Something Else

This will be the second time I blog post about the Trayvon Martin trial.    It’s been awhile but I think it’s comfortable to say that everything gotten completely nuts on the media.  If Mr. Zimmerman does get acquitted I fear for the continuity of our legal system, because you know someone is going to make it their prerogative to find that man and kill him after the trial or at least hurt him badly.  Sure, some people would have no problem with that, but if he is deemed innocent by a Jury, isn't it our obligation as citizens to respect that decision?

When this trial turned into a media trial it was destined to go through all the ridiculous speculation and bias that all media trials go through. Personally, the only accounts I have of this entire trial have been through various news sources and going off of what I've heard and seen I think the guy(Zimmerman) is a creep, but what this sentence means is that I've seen the mug shots and listened to the little black box and thus my opinion is skewed.   A lot of people want Mr. Zimmerman convicted that were not a part of the legal process.  Again, from what I've heard Mr. Zimmerman was in the wrong, but I'll never know for sure.  I just hope whatever happens nobody takes anything into their own hands and we all let justice prevail, no matter what.

The only real winner in this whole scenario right now is the Skittles marketing department.

On a higher, slamming fists against a piano note…Jay Z’s 12^th studio album Magna Carter, I mean Magna Carta…Holy Grail (I think I accidently found a better name for the album) is something you should really pick up and listen to.  I mean you probably already have I mean the album just went platinum.    BBC is my favorite track just because Pharrell +Nas +Jay Z= Winning.

Deep Thoughts...Just Skip This One

If you type something does that mean you said it?   In the physical sense of the word surely you do not, but it is the eternal expression of an internal thought.  Better keep some of those thoughts to yourself I guess.

I’m thinking about this now because generally there are plenty of things I see on social media that are just embarrassing.  I mean I know I've been totally embarrassing myself over the course of my life, (specifically in writing this blog) but people just type the most hurtful and obnoxious things. I wonder if their thoughts passed through the whole reasoning section of the brain (scientific expert here).   What I wonder is if there IS some actual scientific reason for why people type such poorly thought out things,  should they be held accountable? I know your first reaction is probably “Of course, they expressed their mind” The problem with that is I’m convinced we all have plenty of thoughts we might not wish to express.  It could be possible that certain people are born without the ability to process their thoughts properly when they type things but speak perfectly fine. I most likely have no backing on this opinion, but we treat so many strange things in this world, so why would this be so far-fetched? 

That’s all the thinking for today, going to read some of my ignorant past self now.

PS: New Joey Bada$$ “Summer Knights” EP is amazing music right now.  “The Death of Yolo” is so badass… Tehe!

Because I Can!

This is Something

If only I lived in a world without left handed people. If I did then everything would be allllllllllll right! Ha! Get it? “All right” as in no one would use their left han- Okay I’m done.

On the subject of the world, I’m sure you all agree that the world is a crazy place. You got people killing people at the same time as people helping people. Then there’s those volcanoes man, frackin volcanoes. Who came up with that right? They look like giant earth pimples. If I could have the super power of making hot volcanic rock shoot out of my pimples, I probably wouldn’t want it.

What did you just read? It doesn’t matter! And now for something completely different:

Is that a smile I see? :D

Narwhals Are Real

Recently I entered a conversation in which I discussed Narwhal’s. You know, those whale things with ivory horns that maraud all about the ocean, causing a commotion… Okay If you haven’t seen this video, you haven’t been on the internet long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc Watch this and then continue reading. GOOD! Now that you’ve had a pretty awesome musical education, you might be wondering why I am talking about this in the first place, and so back to my conversation. The person whom I was discussing these creatures with was convinced that these creatures were mythical beast that didn’t exist in real life. I was baffled by this ignorance, after convincing him that they were real I took to the internet and found the subject highly debated. So now I take it upon myself to tell you all that the Narwhal is very real. I have for you hear an excerpt from national Geographic to explain the details:

  The narwhal is the unicorn of the sea, a pale-colored porpoise found in Arctic coastal waters and rivers. These legendary animals have two teeth. In males, the more prominent tooth grows into a sword like, spiral tusk up to 8.8 feet (2.7 meters) long. The ivory tusk tooth grows right through the narwhal's upper lip. Scientists are not certain of the tusk's purpose, but some believe it is prominent in mating rituals, perhaps used to impress females or to battle rival suitors. Females sometimes grow a small tusk of their own, but it does not become as prominent as the male's. Narwhals are related to bottlenose dolphins, belugas, harbor porpoises, and orcas. Like some other porpoises, they travel in groups and feed on fish, shrimp, squid, and other aquatic fare. They are often sighted swimming in groups of 15 to 20, but gatherings of hundreds—or even several thousand—narwhals have been reported. Sometimes these groups become trapped by shifting pack ice and fall victim to Inuit hunters, polar bears, or walruses. Inuit people hunt the narwhal for their long tusks and their skin, an important source of vitamin C in the traditional Arctic diet.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNND NOW YOU KNOW :D Now go do something useful.

Sneaker Heads

Now I know people can get really into a lot of things, but I never knew much about this massive Sneakerhead culture that exists until today.  My roommate who is a self proclaimed Sneakerhead took me to a convention for such people today and it was pretty astonishing to see the massive amount of interest and dedication to the culture.  They did this thing called a sneaker battle where two people would pull out a fresh pair of shoes one after the other, and whichever pair the crowd cheered for the most that pairs owner would win the battle.  There were about 8 contenders and the winner won a giant obnoxious belt that said something like Sneaker champion.  The winner of the entire thing pulled out the light up shoes from Back to the Future and I must say they looked incredible.

Yes I know what you are thinking.  Joe you ignorant F*ck.  You are right. Here have some stars :D *******************************************************************************

Something Like This

The NSA Stole My Bike

Within a 30 minute gap of being away from my bike it got stolen.  I kicked myself for not getting a lock yet, then hunted ferociously around campus thinking to myself about all the terrible things I would do to the person if I found them.  I found the bike eventually with some help but not the person. Whoever it was left it on it's side in front of a building with it's back tire popped.  Happy ending I guess

Looking back on it I would probably not have "messed this person up."  By looking back I mean looking at my arms and how damn lanky they are.  I have to watch out that anger I guess.  I Was so consumed in in my rage I almost submitted to the evil  order of the Sith.  I wonder what my "Darth name" would be (like "Darth" Vader or Darth Maul if you don't get it)?

Second order of business. I call upon you  Murica!  We must stop the NSA and all there NSA..ness.  Go to this site and help be apart of the process now! https://call.stopwatching.us/ (link here)  My parents worked to damn hard for these freedoms.  Making a call isn't that hard.  I'm pretty convinced that someone from the NSA heard me on the phone saying I brought my bike that day and waited until I left to steal it.  It's a conspiracy!  

Seriously do it though.

Lastly, on a musical note, the battle between Kanye, Mac Miller, and J Cole still rages on sales wise.  GO J COLE!

Poetry and Basketball

Recently I have been listening to a lot of poetry in my car such as  T.S. Elliot, Walt Whitman, Allan Ginsberg, Sylvia Plath, and a whole lot more.  I suggest it as an alternative to listening to music all the time.  As strange as it sounds it's made me realize that i'm actually going somewhere on that trance like strip of gravel called a highway. Yup,  awareness is pretty cool...Moving on.

Basketball is my favorite sport 

I like the way they dribble up and down the court.

Well not really, but my Mom was in he WBL (old name for the WNBA) so I grew up around a lot of basketball.  I played plenty of sports as a kid, but somehow I ended up engrossed in English literature at a liberal arts school that doesn't care about sports in the slightest.  Everyone is a writer, dancer, or actor (or something affiliated with these departments) here and doesn't go to sports games.  There is just no support.  In fact I am certain only ten people from my school watched the Spurs vs Heat game tonight (let alone knew it was even on).

What I think I want to say is that there has always been a gap between the "artsy" people and the "jocks."  Our school caters to the arts.  Other schools cater to sports. That being said if you feel as though you can relate with one of these categories, don't let it decide who your friends are and who is worth your attention.  There's poetry to be found in basketball and many other sports as well.  Or at least I think so.

THIS IS NATHAN SCOTT! NOT ME! THANK YOU!

That's really all i wanted to say.  Have a happy Friday.

Track by Track Review of Born Sinner

J Cole’s new album “Born Sinner” is something I’ve been anticipating for so long now.  Finally I got some headphones around my ear to take a listen to the albums 16 tracks and I must say the album has exceeded my expectations.  After “Power Trip” released as a single I was worried that that particular song, like for many current rappers, would be the apex of the album.  It just sounded so hard to top.  16 tracks later I regret my doubts and realize that each song on the album carries a purpose and doesn’t fall into the realm of “filler.”  J Cole got got rap music right and I applaud his dedication.  I’m also grateful for the lyrical interludes and some fantastic skits.  Below is a track by track review of the album.  Order it on iTunes people!  Born Sinner June 18^th

Track 1:  “Villumnati”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2rd566LRWw

Cole starts out the album with a fury.  The beat is dark, heavy, and bumping loud.  Then at around 42 seconds in you here a familiar the voice in the sample. You process the thought like: “Holy shit it’s Biggie, he sampled Biggie! Not only that, he sampled ‘JUICY (bold move Jermaine)!’”  After getting over this fact you realize that j Cole is rapping harder than the Floyd Mayweather’s Chest reinforced by a Nokia phone jacket.  Oh yeah, and he also gives his honorary “F*ck Illuminati” lines somewhere in there as well.

Track 2: “Kerney Sermon” (Skit)

Track 3:  “LAnd of Snakes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiNIifSHpSU

OUTKAST FOREVER!  J Cole samples Outkast’s “Da Art of Storytelling Pt 1”  from there 3^rd studio album Aquemini in this lyrical ride through J Cole’s life.   Only three tracks in and he’s paying tribute to so many classics!  The beat is lighter and the lyrics are more relaxed and reminiscent but still possess that heavyweight lyricism J Cole is known for. The way the beat slows down at the end is a nice touch to for the transition into the next song “Power Trip.”

Track 4: “Power Trip” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdmnkXABqV0

J Cole's (left) first album single "Power Trip" ft. Miguel (right)

Would you believe me if I said I’m in love!  Cole is fire! Miguel’s feature is fire! The beat is addicting!  If you haven’t heard this song yet you live under a rock.

Track 5: “My Money” (Interlude) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdxlvmphglY

Just flexing the lyrics and “Money” is the word. J Cole rips apart a minute using the word “money” 32 times without rhyming “money” with “money” (thank god). 

Track 6: “Trouble” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82xEj7GFnak

What comes after money?  PROBLEMS! And in Cole’s case we have plenty of them in track 6: “Trouble.”  Darkness approaches as J Cole raps about the troubles he experienced in his journey to the “promise land.”   The beat is accompanied by haunting choir chorus, which is personally my favorite part of the song.  At the end of the of the track only one question remains: “Mama did you F*ck J Cole?” 

Track 7: “Runaway Pride” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHA9n4Wr0Q8

J Cole gets real with his listeners about his relationships. Going out on tour and messing around with girls when he had good girl at home holding everything down.  Honesty and venting dominates the track.  The tone of the rapping is filled with the emotions of anger, regret, and wounded pride.   The best word I can put to the beat is woeful.  It’s definitely something for a rainy day.

Track 8: “She Knows” ft. Amber Coffman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBBpxI1UrMg

If sin had a sound it would be the whispering chorus of Amber Coffman on “She knows.”  Her voice and the dark drumming beat are constantly intermingling. On this track J Cole is well aware of what he has become at a certain point in his life.  His girl knows that he’s cheating and (follow me here) HE knows, SHE knows, and HE don’t give a flying f*ck.  The verse “on some DMX shit” kind of sums it all up for us.  The album is proving to be incredibly dark at this point. With 8 tracks in and only 8 to go I wonder; will Jermaine find the light? 

Track 9:  Rich Ni**az http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6jKKVwqRug

What is that I hear? It’s such a beautiful sound, so relaxing and soothing! How wonderful! There’s even trickling water in the backgrou-“I hate a rich Ni**gaz God Dammit…” It looks like we aren’t out of hell just yet.  That water comes from rain and that rain is making thunder on this nature filled beat.  J Cole expresses his anger over the fact that he never had money growing up,   and then transitions into lyrics about being afraid of change now that he has money.    He doesn’t want to become so immersed in his new lifestyle that he becomes numb to things he never would have dreamed of doing.  A haunting chorus by Cole asks over and over again: “how much for your soul.”

Track 10:  “Where’s Jermaine” (Skit)

Track 11: “Forbidden Fruit” Ft. Kendrick Lamar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-XsGSXUjhI

Okay I know J Cole wanted to do the album where he was the only one rapping but come on give your man Kendrick some bars!  Instead we see Kendrick doing a nice effortless hook.  Good to see the two great minds together (but come on, give Kendrick a verse). There’s some incredible lyricism on this one and the beat is surprisingly light. To top it all off that baseline is smooooooth! 

Track 12: “Chaining Day” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Khw2nQ3ds_g

On this track J. Cole tells his accountant this is the last time he’ll spend money on chains and such.  He tells his mom that this is the last time he’ll degrade himself like this by being a slave to material things. Though he recognizes his mistakes Cole admits he will probably keep doing these things.   This song premiered back in 2012 without a beat, so it’s good to see Cole got a good beat for those lyrics.  The beat is lighthearted and jumpy but transforms into a slow jam about halfway through.  Just going to hop off for a second and say that although I still enjoyed it this was my least favorite track.

Track 13: “Ain’t that Some Shit” (Interlude) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y6GVJsoIsk

Beat is quick and light making the the attack of J Coles lyrics on this interlude feel like they embodied a swarm of bees and are coming at you ear pretty aggressively. At this point you can feel the tone of the album rising from all that trouble as well.

Track 14: “ Crooked Smile” ft. TLC http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an-DyD6znI0

J Cole's 2nd single "Crooked Smile Ft. TLC

 So it seems J Cole was all like “let’s take all this bad, turn it inside out and make it good!”  On “Crooked Smile” we are hit with a special type of honesty that is empowering and almost beautiful.  Along with a catchy and appropriate hook from TLC, J Cole talks about his messed up teeth and how he used think about getting them fixed, then transitions that thought into a bigger picture about or perceptions of ourselves.  Crooked Smile is the happiest track of the album in my oppinion, full of hope.

Track 15: “Let Nas Down” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLF39513uwM

A Smooth Sax accompanies my favorite track of the album (Nas sample wins).  “Let Nas Down” is a tribute to the idols of rap as well as a confession of a heavy regret.  Back when J Cole dropped “Work Out” he finally thought he had beat the radio game and got the single that the label wanted.  He did, except the song wasn't what the fans and particularly Nas had expected of him.  Nas told J Cole of his disappointment.  Fortunately for us, J Cole turned that regret around and made an incredible track 15 with it!

Track 16: “Born Sinner” ft. James Fauntleroy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAekzW-iKog

We are at the end! “I’m a Born Sinner, but I’ll die better that” sings James Fauntleroy (and later an inspirational choir, maybe the same from “Trouble”) as the album reaches its end. J Cole no doubt has come a long way from The Warm Up and Friday Night Lights.   This last track carrying the title of the album lifts Cole to the height of his achievements and sets him on a path forward, and when he starts touring again I guarantee more than just his dedicated fans now will be coming to show love and respect for this truly gifted artist.

Burnt Rice AKA Dinner

            There's really not much story here. I Burnt the rice, the fire alarm went off and my suite-mate who is an amazing cook now subconsciously considers me a fail at life for it.  I didn't take a picture of it but here's a picture of what it generally looked like:

yum.

           I understand that this is not the most interesting thing posted on the internet, but let's be honest, you'd rather read about my burnt dinner than about something important or scholarly.  If you were on Facebook or anything looking for such material I suggest a book.  

          A book! That's right i'm reading a book right now.  The entire collection of Sherlock Holmes has made a fine table ornament on my apartment table for a while and I finally opened it today.  Mr. Holmes is both strange and a genius. Each of the the stories narrated by his sidekick Watson are exceptionally thrilling.  I look forward to eventually seeing that movie now that I've gotten into the book.

         Lastly, I feel like I should talk  briefly about Bioshock Infinite.  I recently finished the game and there isn't much to say except that it's the best game I've played in years.  I actually can't think of a better game off the top of my head.  That's pretty much it.  I should think of better things to talk about when I waste your time... No I shouldn't :D I LIKE MAKING YOU EAT MY METAPHORICAL BURNT RICE!!!!!  Eat well internet.  Gonna watch Shawshank Redemption!

Running Out Of Ramen

Well since I have been underwater searching for the lost city of Atlantis for the past couple months I think it’s time I stopped hitting the surf and started surfing the internet again (haha).  By surfing I mean blogging.

I am still surrounded by hipsterz, as I am living at Purchase over the summer where I am lifeguarding, taking classes, and doing other summer things.  You know, like not having a schedule and cooking my own food.

Purchase is underwater and I’m realizing while I’m typing I may have almost tried to make another joke about water.  Bottom line: it’s rainy as hell (or the opposite of hell) here.

My attentions on this poppin’ Friday night now look towards the future like a bald eagles head facing sideways, so forward in-fact that I have contemplated the possibility of running out or Ramen.  To express these feelings I have written a poem expressing my deepest thoughts upon the matter.  Enjoy!

Running out of Ramen

By Me

I am running out of ramen

When it is all gone I will say: “awww man”

Goodnight and hello again cruel world

Napping

Today I rediscovered the beautiful concept of napping during the day.  By simply taking two hours out of my day I feel like I have six hours of nonstop energy!  Getting things done is incredibly less stressful and I’m more efficient with my time.  If someone could put naps in a can and sell it for five bucks a pop I would probably buy all of it.    Oh wait I think that’s called, chloroform. ..

                Anyway take a damn nap you overworked, overstressed, unappreciated, but of human existence you.  It’s secretly all you really want to do.

SPRANG

Sprannnnnnng is here baby!  You know what that means?  Time to bust out the Nelly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeZZr_p6vB8  Time to get a little funky!  Speaking of funky funk funkiness I just bought OutKast’s old album from 1997 Aquemini.  It’s jammed pack with funkilishousness that will make you want to funk everything in your life up.

                It’s so sunny out I’m going photosynthesize all day.  No time to blog!  CRAWL OUT OF YOUR DENS, SLAVES OF THE INTERNET!   TO THE FRESH AIR!!!!!!!!

Risk

Taking a risk. Somewhere I heard that if you really want do something, don’t make a plan B because you will ultimately end up doing whatever that is.  As of today (though I am not specifically allowed to say what it actually is) I am taking a big risk with my future.  I’m betting everything on one big shot.  It’s literally a go big or go home situation and the odds are stacked against me.  Keeping focused and determined has never been more important.

                Succeed or fail I feel like these times really build human character.  They make you grapple with all your emotions.  You feel like a real person and not just a speck in the world.  Don’t get me wrong.  I will succeed.  Remember what you are trying to do and stay focused internet.

Easter Bunny!

The Easter Bunny steals the unborn babies of hens all over the world, disposes of all but their shell, colors those shells in all the colors of the rainbow, stuffs them with candy for little children, breaks into your house,  hides the stuff everywhere, and eventually leaves.  The things little children believe are absolutely ridiculous.  That being said I think it’s awesome that they are convinced of something as irrational as that.  What an amazing world we all used to live in!  It kicked ass with all the mysterious magical stuff that happened.  When you really “grow up” you forget all those childish things you used to believe.  You accept that the world has to make sense and in order for you to live in it.  Fun becomes secondary and overshadowed by responsibility.  I don’t want to be younger; I just want to be older in a younger person’s world sometimes.  I fulfilled this dream today as the campus Easter bunny.

 Happy Late-Easter Internet (not much of a bunny but close)

 

Bioshock Infinite

Biohock Infinite bottom line: 10/10, 100/100, a bajillion win points! I’m not even done with the game and I am in love.   The city is beautiful, the plot makes you go “what the frack” about ten times a minute, and the combat is different than anything I’ve ever experienced in a game. In combat players go use guns, vigors, skyhooks, and tiers (I think that’s the right spelling) simultaneously to defeat their enemies.  The enemies you face are varied so that you are always changing up what you use in combat to best deal with a situation.  There are so many options in style that no one could possibly play through the game the same as someone else.  I’d write more about it but I just have to finish this beast.  Bioshock Infinite wins.  End of story.

Useless Stuff

I cleaned out my room today.  It was painful to realize that I have a lot of stuff, and it’s hard just thinking about all that money I wasted on some of the things I now own.  So much useless junk I only used two or three times then set on a shelf to collect dust.  Then there are the old Happy Birthday cards and Christmas cards lying around.  I read about twenty or so today that all said such nice things.   I never wrote anything back to anyone.  I regret that. 

But enough of this depressing nostalgia, I won’t spend my spring break loathing in regret! I refuse!  From now on Joseph M. Chiavaro is going to enjoy his break!  Time to have some fun with this Nerf bow and arrow I got when I was ten and shoot at my old batman action figures.  NANANANANANANANANANA SPRING BREAK!

 

Life Insurance

Tuesday is here and I’m spending the day with my Mom at work helping her sell all that Northwestern Mutual life insurance that has fed me since I was ten or so.  It’s funny when think that you owe a large portion of life experience to the sales your Mom makes.  I’m in college because she worked incredibly hard to sell people this insurance. Just wanted to stop and take a moment to be thankful for that, nothing more.    

Peace Out Hipsterz

Spring break starts today!  It's the time to go home where you can eat wholesome meals and watch the news on a daily basis (unless your parents kicked you out for good). Too much work to get done to be a couch potato, so maybe it’s not a break for me.  Regardless, I hope anyone in school at the moment that has nine days off enjoys their break!

Snoop Lion

Change is a wonderful thing, especially for Snoop Dogg.  While we all used to love the man who rapped about shooting undercover cops and such, it seems he’s really growing up.  After hearing the full version of No Guns Allowed, one of the songs off of his upcoming album Reincarnated, it is clear that he’s really done a 180 in his lyrical content.  The song sends a message about nonviolence and paying attention to the important things in life other than money.  It’s clear why Snoop had to change his name after hearing his new music.  We could not handle putting this sound up against something like Vato (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXWFqxKU2qA), it just would frustrate us and not make sense. Drake also puts in a nice verse in the song in memory of those who died in a shooting at a block party in Toronto.

 No Guns Allowed, enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7MH_B1RzN4

Eighty Five

Eighty five…  Grade wise, what does an eighty five say about your work?  Is it bad?  Is it good? Is it okay? Is it amazing?  Does it cause you to go crazy and freak out about your grades or does it fill you with a sense of satisfaction.  Grades are something that obviously distinguishes between whether you know something or you don’t.  But eighty five is the cut off point for that easy distinction.  With such a grade you could have any attitude towards it that you want and still have another person feel completely the opposite about it.  Any grade higher or lower than that simply doesn’t do the same.  My opinion is that It seems to come down to standards.  People who expect too much of themselves call an eighty five a blunder.  People who expect very little of themselves consider the eighty five a pretty sweet grade.  the eigthy five brings about a different feeling in all of us. 

And so with this eighty five I got on my colloquium paper I say WOOOHOOOO, GOD DAMMIT, YES, NO, SWEEEEEEET, FML!

NEW JT! Don't Hold The Wall!

Slaughterhouse-Five

Killed a midterm this morning; I made my 100^th post yesterday; spring breaks approaching; and I’m cruising down the freeway of life! Taking big breaths of oxygen and whatever else is in the air and just enjoying it. 

On a darker note however, I finished the book Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut.  Apart from the fact that it was brilliantly written, the themes and scenarios that make up the book are dreadfully dark.  Vonnegut tries to explain what happened in the bombing of Dresden where hundreds of thousands of Germans died.  He uses time travel, aliens, vibrating beds, crashing planes, and so many other unconventional things to get at the root of the problem of people rationalizing death and destruction.  He puts one death next to thousands and demands (sometimes not even human deaths) that we put them on the same level using the ominous expression “So it goes” to resolve the rationalization of every demise.   Though it’s a brief review and only covers a small portion of this fantastic work of literature I hope I did not miss the mark in my understanding. 

Coding

Today I happened to run into my friend in the library.  We were both looking at job opportunities for an upcoming job fair and we noticed that a lot of the jobs required skills such as coding.  So being the ignorant tech fail that I am I asked her how do I do it?

A good hour of research later I am upset, and excited at the same time.  Upset that I was never taught this in school, and excited that now I know about a new way to expand my creative knowledge.   From what I’ve heard it’s basically just writing to your computer exactly what you want it to do.  It looks intimidating but I want to learn more about it.  

If you are reading this and shaking your head thinking “Joe you idiot, how can you have a blog and not know the first thing about coding” you have every right to do so.  That being said I hope someday I may defeat this ignorance and show all those internet savvy folks that there is one less person to shake their head at.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAwq1K9oMPA

SPEECH

Public speaking is an intimidating thing.  Today I gave a public speech on behalf of my college SUNY Purchase on their learning community program.  I prepared and practiced and made my speech super fly, but once I got on that podium my confidence twitched.  In a moment that seemed to happen outside of time an epic war took place where my doubt laid siege to my confidence.   The result was a quick yet powerful emotion.  Fortunately, I gave a fantastic speech according to my friend in the admissions building Mrs. Washington so in the end the siege failed.  I just want to recognize this moment and share a feeling that I think I’m not alone in well…feeling.  I think a lot of people my age struggle with winning this battle.  You could say you just need more confidence but if that were the case for everyone we would all be a lot more outspoken.

Yelawolf has confidence all day long on this new mix tape!  Trunk Musik Returns!

Three songs off the mix righter there for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPLSlbDTd7Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq8tm67DY2M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PVRxL2KtBs

A New Hope...I Mean Pope!

And we can build this dream together!!!!
Standing strong forever!!!
Nothing's gonna stop us nooooooooow!!!!

 

I don't care what anyone says about the 80s this song will always be amazing!

 

Well enough of that I’m sure your Thursday is full of crazy and wild excitement! I mean can you believe it?! There’s a new hope!  I mean “Pope” (Someone please make that a meme)!  I bet you’re all probably on cloud nine right now jumping up and down celebrating such a tremendous…wait, what?  Oh… you don’t care?  But he’s the new Po…I don’t care if you want real news!  This is twenty four hour Pope coverage time people!  We need to know what he’s doing every second of the day!  If he takes a dump we need to see it on national TV!  Enough with your apathy and just jump on the Pope train and remind yourself that you were a Christian once!  Or not…  Most likely not…  But who cares it’s the Pope!

Problem Questions

A fight almost broke out in my English Renaissance class today over whether Tim Burton makes good films or not.  It almost got out of control until we all realized that Tim Burton has no fraking reason to be mentioned in an English Renaissance Class!  Everyone has one class that has some strange person who says strange things all the time.  Throughout the course of said people’s questions or statements I just cringe and try not to look. In all honesty I’m sure they’ve got some sort of amazing thought going through their head that transcends anything in the discussion.  That being said if you are one of these people please recognize you have some difficulty in conveying your opinions to the public (that does not have anything to do with a Tim Burton comparison) and write down what you are going to say beforehand.   If your idea seems to make perfect grammatical sense and fits into the discussion after a good five minutes of review, then and only then raise your hand. 

I was that person once, but I fixed that problem through this process and I hope you do too internet.

Writing Is...

Writing is many things.  One of those is an outlet to processing of your thoughts.  When you have to think really hard about something, write about it.  When something is stuck on your mind and you can’t get it out, write about it. When you have neither of these things, write about writing about stuff.  Thank you internet and have a wonderful weekend.

Don't go and write a song like this though. 

 

Surrounded By Smarter People Maybe?

I’m sure anyone will agree that we need to become and be surrounded by smarter people.  That being said, it has come to my attention that many people in this current first world country of mine lack access to scholarly articles. Instead, they are being constantly exposed to unscholarly ones such as magazines, tabloids, and the dreaded yahoo newsfeed.  With the use of the internet, databases of academic content have become so much more available and not available at the same time.  While you may peruse a forest of academia at a mere whim, if you do not pay to have access to these databases you are essentially cut off from the such knowledge.  You cannot develop a voice because the knowledge is only meant for people who can pay for it.  Terrible yes, but that isn’t even the worst part.  If I wrote something worthy of such a database, (scholarly) I could not view my own work on that database for free.  I would still have to pay for it.

                Fortunately I’m lucky enough to go to a college where databases are supplied.   After college however, will I still be able to function at a hundred percent without the tools I need?   Perhaps I’ll find a way.  I’d either have find money to pay for it, jump over way more hurdles than necessary, or pirate it.  All three of these options are unacceptable to me and should be to you as well no matter what you wish to study.  I hope you agree with me internet. Maybe someday we can all be smarter people.