Don't we all love our online lists?
We read these things all of the time. Things like: Top ten reason to love
Ryan Gosling; top twenty five reasons to become a doctor; Top fifteen toe fungi
to not contract while vacationing in Canada. These are fun to read right?
My answer is yes...sometimes.
Truly I love some good old lists
every now and then, but I have a problem with particular lists which fall under
the category of "paranoid relationship lists." These lists are
designed to instill doubt in relationships that are going very well.
Their titles consist of things like: "10 signs of an affair" or
"top ten things to look for when someone is cheating on you." I
hate these. Not only are many of the reasons complete garbage, but people
read these things and then think "damn I gotta look out for THAT
now."
For example, here is a
reason for cheating I just pulled randomly online:
He’s Suddenly
Shaving
If your husband’s
grooming habits suddenly take a change for the better, then you might have to
be concerned that you’re not the one he is trying to impress.
Maybe it is just a little harmless flirting with a cute new girl in the office
who makes him feel young again, or maybe it is something worse.
(Doesn't that last
line just open up a bunch of nasty thoughts?)
The intent of this
particular advice is for someone to go home to
their significant other and keep track of their hygiene/personal
appearance. If at any given point it improves you're supposed to thing
"Oh no, he/she is being unfaithful, time to let doubt ruin my day."
That's the point though. You read crap like this and it gives you
doubt.
Everyone who
cheats does it in their own way; you can't say irresponsible things
like this to inspire unreasonable conclusions. Not only that, it also makes
life tougher for those who don't (to those who say "everyone cheats once
“if everyone really did it would be accepted as a totally fine thing by society
by now).
If
your significant other decides to make a life improvement
that starts with shaving, the first thing you shouldn't think is "damn
he's probably doing it for some other girl."
If you do happen
to be in a terrible relationship where you are always worried about cheating
that's your fault and you should figure something out.
And that's all I
have to say about that.
On the subject of
doubt, this particular picture makes me feel uncomfortable about my
relationship with my blog.