Online Lists Destroy Love

Don't we all love our online lists?  We read these things all of the time. Things like: Top ten reason to love Ryan Gosling; top twenty five reasons to become a doctor; Top fifteen toe fungi to not contract while vacationing in Canada.  These are fun to read right?  My answer is yes...sometimes.  

Truly I love some good old lists every now and then, but I have a problem with particular lists which fall under the category of "paranoid relationship lists."  These lists are designed to instill doubt in relationships that are going very well.  Their titles consist of things like: "10 signs of an affair" or "top ten things to look for when someone is cheating on you."  I hate these.  Not only are many of the reasons complete garbage, but people read these things and then think "damn I gotta look out for THAT now."

  

For example, here is a reason for cheating I just pulled randomly online:

He’s Suddenly Shaving

If your husband’s grooming habits suddenly take a change for the better, then you might have to be concerned that you’re not the one he is trying to impress.

Maybe it is just a little harmless flirting with a cute new girl in the office who makes him feel young again, or maybe it is something worse.

(Doesn't that last line just open up a bunch of nasty thoughts?)

The intent of this particular advice is for someone to go home to their significant other and keep track of their hygiene/personal appearance.  If at any given point it improves you're supposed to thing "Oh no, he/she is being unfaithful, time to let doubt ruin my day."  That's the point though.  You read crap like this and it gives you doubt. 

Everyone who cheats does it in their own way; you can't say irresponsible things like this to inspire unreasonable conclusions. Not only that, it also makes life tougher for those who don't (to those who say "everyone cheats once “if everyone really did it would be accepted as a totally fine thing by society by now). 

 If your significant other decides to make a life improvement that starts with shaving, the first thing you shouldn't think is "damn he's probably doing it for some other girl."  

If you do happen to be in a terrible relationship where you are always worried about cheating that's your fault and you should figure something out.

And that's all I have to say about that.

On the subject of doubt, this particular picture makes me feel uncomfortable about my relationship with my blog.

Caddyshack

This world is a serious place, where serious stuff is done by serious people in a serious manner.  Over time I’ve come to believe if your occupation doesn‘t incorporate some mild manner of laughter, you will most definitely end up like those people the Joker kills in Dark Knight (okay so maybe I don’t believe that but you’ll probably be really bummed most of the time). Anyway, in order to stop some psychopathic clown from teaching us all to smile, I suggest an alternative prescription for the seriousness: Caddyshack.  Yes, this movie will never fail you.  In fact stop what you are doing right now and just watch CaddyShack tonight.  

Though I am no movie buff, if there is one thing I know about film it is that Caddyshack can put a grin on even the most depressed degenerate sack of meat (who works I the DMV of all places). 

I have so much faith in this film I seriously believe doctors should prescribe Caddyshack as well as other comical movies in its class to mentally depressed patients.   I just cannot imagine someone who is on the verge of suicide sitting through that movie and just thinking afterwards that it’s time to end it all. 

That’s pretty much it.  Here’s a link to some memories for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7YGQjMKNQE

 Remember! A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.

"I Don't Smoke Crack Motha F*ucka I Sell It" Thoughts on Kendrick's "Control" Verse

Let me just talk about rap for a second and why anyone who likes it should give a giant thank you to Kendrick Lamar for saying what needed to be said many years ago.  Before Waka Flocka Flame, Trinidad Jame$, and all this non lyrical trash that dares call itself "rap."  In essence, Kendrick says rap is a competition and if you are a rapper you better compete!

That "Crack Music" Kanye West and The Game once spit about is seriously at an all time low.  With all the incredible artists coming out with new albums recently, the effort put into some of the music has been pathetic, especially with the following:

The Wale Album:  Okay... BUT NO

Lil Wayne Album: NO

Rich Gang Album: NO

Nicki Minaj Album: NO

Tyga Album: NO

French Montana Album: NO

Meek Mill Album: NO

Wiz Khalifa Album: NO
Joe Budden Album: NO

Chief Keef Album: NO NO

Trinidad Jame$ Mixtape: NO NO NO

Even the Lupe Album: NO

(Versace....NO)

About half of these rappers at some point had something special about them.  Something that made their sound better in it's own way.  They all got lazy or changed to fit a certain bubble.  The rest of them have no business doing what they are doing and I'm hating so hard on them right now.  The fact is that they have been able to get away with some complete bull in the past couple years that needs to stop.  If it's not lyrical at least make it artistically complex you lazy dirt bags.  Kendrick challenges you all to make better music.  Please, for the love of god do or disappear or just change your genre to party music or something.  Some of you have the potential.

Kendrick Verse Here: http://rapradar.com/2013/08/12/new-music-big-sean-ft-kendrick-lamar-x-jay-electronica-control/